TWO people supported by a local hospice, after the heartbreak of loosing their partners to cancer, have been given a second chance of happiness.
Bob and Pat Notman exchanged their vows in front of a packed church of family and friends after meeting through a bereavement ‘drop in’ run by St Teresa’s Hospice, Darlington.
The couple who married at St Teresa’s Church, on July 16 this year, are now looking forward to a long and very happy retirement together.
“I never expected to meet anyone after my husband died, never mind get married again,” said Pat, 68, of Darlington.
“In fact I never wanted to get involved in another relationship until Bob came along - but he was just right and I think that it was meant to be.”
After losing her husband Mike, after 42 years of marriage to pancreatic cancer in 2010, Pat was persuaded by a friend to attend St Teresa’s bereavement drop-in group to help with her grief.
“I found it quite hard at first,” said Pat. “But as the sessions went by it was lovely to come into St Teresa’s to just talk, have a little cry or just listen and I made some great friends.”
Also attending the bereavement drop in group was 78-year-old Bob Notman whose wife of 50 years, Doris, had passed away in October 2011.
“I was also a bit reluctant to go to the drop-in-group at first,” said Bob a retired bus driver.
“The district nurse, who looked after my wife when she was ill, kept leaving me little notes about the bereavement sessions at St Teresa’s and said that I should go so in the end I thought why not.”
“It was quite a strange environment to be in at the beginning but after a while I was able to open up and I found it really helpful especially as there were one or two other men there that I already knew.”
But despite attending the same bereavement sessions Pat and Bob were never formally introduced and just a few weeks after Bob started at the drop-in-group Pat left the group.
“I don’t really remember Bob at all,” said Pat.
“I’d been at St Teresa’s Hospice for just over two years so it was time to move on but a few people from the group decided to form a new drop in at The Kings Head Hotel, in the town.”
While attending the bereavement drop in at St Teresa’s Bob’s son Andrew, 49, was taken ill and passed away from cancer of the oesophagus after receiving the last few hours of end of life care at the hospice.
As provincial grand primo for the Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos for Darlington and District Province, a charity organisation set up to help individuals and organisations in need, Bob set about fundraising for St Teresa’s and found himself at The King’s Head drop in club to sell raffle tickets.
“I just thought who’s this pest selling raffle tickets?” said Pat.
“I bought some anyway and a few weeks later Bob turned up once more to present me with my first prize of a giant Easter egg.
“I gave him a thank you kiss on the cheek and thought that was the end of it.”
But a few weeks later Bob joined the drop in at The Kings Head, which meets every Monday morning, and a friendship started to flourish.
“I came to the drop-in a few times with my daughter-in-law and Pat and I just got on really well,” said Bob.
“We had the same sense of humour and enjoyed each others company.”
After going for their first meal out together on April 13, this year, romance blossomed and five weeks later Bob proposed.
In just six weeks the couple, with the blessing of both families and their friends at the drop-in-group, tied the knot with Pat’s grandson Theo,25, walking her down the aisle to a waiting Bob with his best man, son Craig, 39.
Both Bob and Pat requested donations for the hospice in lieu of wedding gifts and presented St Teresa’s with £200 after returning from their honeymoon in York.
“St Teresa’s really was the catalyst that brought us both together,” said Bob.
“Neither of us had any inclination that we would ever get re-married but I’ve found the perfect companion in Pat and its wonderful to be given a second chance.
“It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind but both of us couldn’t be happier.”